This is not just a figure of speech or a small brush with death, like a close call in a car. I laid in an emergency room bed drifting in and out of consciousness being whisked from test to test trying to determine the cause of paralysis, loss of speech, double vision and the need for breathing assistance as well as the overall decline in health in an active healthy 30 year old.
A doctor explained to me, as I lay motionless in a bed with an overwhelming need to pee, that I had had a stroke. My first thought to register in the foggy abyss of my brain was .......what the hell is a STROKE? Unfortunately, since I’ve lived it for the past 6 years. I know all too well.
My health was declining to a dismal state with doctors giving me a 15% survival rate. I can only imagine the helplessness my family was experiencing during that stressful time.
The risk of not knowing how much time had passed from the time of stroke and being discovered stopped the doctors from performing a procedure that might reverse the effects of the stroke. It was thought at the time only by piecing things together from the debris left behind in my path approximately 9 hours had passed. Many discussions as to what happened and the timeline had me screaming the correct answer in my head.
I had woken up to go for a run before work and decided I didn’t feel well and would go later in the day and would go back to bed. I went pee and while sitting on the toilet my foot went numb. I crawled back into bed knocking over the lamp. I leaned over to the other side of the bed to change the alarm. But I had only managed to turn it off before flopping face first on the pillow.
There I lay from 6am to 4pm.
Initially I couldn’t open my eyes but I did hear a woman’s voice saying they needed to get permission from the family for organ donation. My fear was they were going to cut me open. I thought wait I’m here!
It was then decided they would wait it out versus the risky surgical procedure..... It was said that the critical time would be the first 5 days.
A series of scattered memories of what occurred during this time is all that I remember.
Two things happened early on.
The first was the need to roll over, but not being able to. hankfully the nurses were in charge of ‘turning’ me at specific intervals. ...Ah the relief and I was able to be comfortable and go back to dreamland where I was capable of the incapable.
When I flicked the clip off my finger it would cause a beeping that would summon a nurse to replace the clip. It wasn’t much, but it was something to do while I lay almost paralysed in bed.
The observation room was large with several beds strategically scattered about to provide enough space to access all the patients. My next memory is being in a bed near a darkened window. I could see a woman sitting at a raised desk looking at a monitor. Another nurse was chasing a patient that would not keep his blood clotting prevention stockings on. Her distinctive shrill voice repeatedly calling the name Vern...Vern and seeing her scurrying by my bed hustling after Vern in an attempt to corral Vern. My eyes close and next I begin plotting my escape.
So much has happened to me as a result of the stroke, not much of it positive, yet all of it has been a lifetime of lessons in a short time. That is my motivation for sharing what I have learned. I’d like to pass along any details that may help someone else in a challenging situation or one that seems insurmountable. Bottom line I have gone through more than one person should go through in one lifetime and my life isn’t over yet.
Posted for Tina by Amanda
