Stand by me

I have neglected this issue of the breakup long enough. I didn't think it would be this hard to put in words.

I was so disappointed and mad that the person I chose to spend my life with couldn’t handle this misfortune. Granted it was life changing and very hard to cope with. There is no manual. I have had a very hard time coping with it all. Yes I would have loved to walk away but it happened to me so I couldn’t walk away. I had a choice give up or make the best of it. Try hard, work hard and never give up despite what people say or what they expected.

He chose to give up and walk away. I am not 100% sure that if the roles were reversed I wouldn’t have done the same thing. He had two choices stand by me or start over again with someone new. Would I have walked away when I knew I couldn’t handle the stress? I like to think I would have at least tried harder, approached the issue differently. I don’t think I could ignore it, not talk about it or go exclusively to my friends for advice. Wouldn’t a professional be better equipped to give suggestions and advice?

I was a mess crying all the time worried for my future. I still worry about my future but not nearly as much. I was worried that everyone I would meet would feel the same way. That I was less than a person now and wouldn’t be able to find love. I realize now that not everyone has the same reaction as my ex-husband. I hung on to my ex- husband so fiercely thinking he was the be all end all. He’s not and there are BETTER fish in the sea.